最近

最近，我变得不爱说话。
最近，我很难控制自己的脾气。
最近，我都一个人的走。
最近，我不爱笑。
最近，我什么都不想去理。
最近，我爱上《海角七号》这部戏。
最近，我想逃开这个世界。
最近，我过的很空虚。
最近，我没有方向的走向未来。
最近，我发觉我活得不像我。
最近，我累了。
最近，我很想大笑一场，但没什么值得我去笑的。
最近，我都在看九把刀的书。
最近，我开始觉得我很寂寞。
最近，我都不回家，想家了。
最近，我喜欢安静。
最近，我夜晚睡不着觉。
最近，我不见了我digi simcard。
最近，我思绪有点乱。
最近，我爱和陌生人不知所谓的交谈。
最近，我变了。
最近，我爱听空空的音乐。
最近，我想回到过去。

Damn Bad Mood

My mood already charged full in the early morning, just like a battery, charged full then can function well. So I planned many things to do, like listen to radio and study a while. But I seem like took the poor planning, my earphone dun wan keep cooperate wif me, ruined out. Shit! How come like tat? Ok, then I jumped to another of my plan, study, but my hair, just washed in the morning, like gaduh wif my eye, dun wan let my eye to read book. A warning letter to my hair, if my hair dun wan keep cooperate wif my eye, I wil cut it. But seem like useless.. My mood on tat time just left 30%..

Malang tidak berbau, my fren sms me asked me why he has a bad memory. Walau eh, how come I know? I dunno how to answer u la. Go to ask god o guan yin ma la. Or go the guanyinma.com to search la. Since i’m a polite person, I also dun wan hurt him so much, so I cheat him I’m busy after a few messages.

Fine, I watch movie, maybe movie can make me feel bright. Unfortunately, my laptop also betrayed me. The dvd cannot be recognised! Cannot play! Yo~, why? I just wan to watch movie nia, also dun wan give me tis chance. God, y always wan to play me? I really willing to let tis chance to other ppl. Dun play me la… Please!

My mood on that time just left 10%. If u got watch Ultraman, u will noticed that when the Ultraman in dangerous & almost wan to die, the siren in front of his shirt playing red signal & got sound some kind like “ten ten ten ….”( if I did not remember it wrongly). Yes, I’m in this situation right now. The red signal is playing now.. Cannot, I cannot let all this bad destroy my mood totally, said in my mind weakly.

Finally I use my last method to make me happier, playing computer game.. But seem like useless. I just played for it without 10minutes. My mood like mirror broke into 100++ pieces. “ I already try my best to cure.. Go to see his last face..”, the dialog wil be come out when a doctor failed to cure a patient & speak this to the patient’s family. I sat hopeless.. My mood totally at 0%, like the happy and fun never appear in my life. Pekchek-ing, but nothing I can do for it.

My fren, now u knw, y I unwilling to write blog today?

I better go to sleep now, recharge my mood better…

21岁咯？！

不知不觉我已经21岁了。那天我跟我表妹出去，表妹的一句话提醒了我，我已经老了，她说21岁的人对她来说就是人生另一个阶段，不再年轻了。哇靠，我竟然被一个11岁的小孩吐糟。虽然口口声声地说我还很年轻，但我的心实在滴血。死啦，都21岁了，好像没做到什么贡献，对家人，对社会也是。（可能我就是社会不需要我的那类人，少了我也没关系。）

去Queensbay那里看倒数的烟花，烟花就在我的头上灿放着它的美丽。我和朋友就在那里胡乱的乱喊，原因一是觉得烟花好像很靠近我们，掉下来的时候好弄到我们，二是我很想把自己之前不快乐的事都发泄出来！所以就一直无意义的乱喊一通，反正都没有人会理你，理你的以为你在赞赏着亮丽的烟花。如果你问我这样做很爽meh？我会回答：“对，很爽！”当你把所有的思绪掏空之后，剩下的是没有杂念的想法。心情轻松了很多，同时的笑容也增加了。

半夜两点多才回到房里，回去就把整个人从头洗到脚，好像想把自己洗到脱胎换骨的。心里默默的大声说：懵懂的我已经不在了，我要活得比去年更精彩！做事多一点，讲话少一点，可能可以培养我的气质，也可以得罪比较少人了。

朋友问我在新的一年的愿望，我回答要比去年更好。很抽象的答案。。没办法，我比较天马行空，想到什么就做什么。。

最后，祝大家Happy new year!

草于2009年1月1号，0313